5 years ago today our Grandma died after willing herself to live through 11 painful months of chemo and other monstrosities. She made it to Spring! But took away the “new life” vibe of Easter which I’ve never really recovered from. Now I’m just as happy to forget about Easter. I pick up some Cadbury mini-eggs whenever I see them in the store and call it done. Jesus understands because we made a deal. I don’t talk about his worst weekend and he doesn’t remind me of mine.
Diana just barely missed her granddaughter’s 5th birthday. This year Fiona will be 10. It’s too sad to think about for too long really. So that’s all I’ll say today.
We miss you, Grandma.
I’ve joined a Buy Nothing facebook group which encourages people to share and trade and give-away things they no longer need, or don’t use all the time. I love the concept and hope this turns out to be another way to feel closer to my neighbors and my community. I’m sure there is a Buy Nothing group near you on the facebook. But if there’s not you can use the FB Marketplace in a similar way. I call it “use facebook as your garage”. For example, if you need a chop saw one day, buy a used one from FB Marketplace. When you are done with the chop saw, sell it back to someone else.
This is just one of the many tricks I’ve learned from years of being a professional organizer, trying to help people be happier and more comfortable in their homes. I’ve also learned a lot of things about throwing parties because I’ve thrown a lot A LOT of parties in my life. Before the pandemic I had gatherings at my house about every other month and attended even more than that. I miss parties so much. Darla and Darl encouraged me to write a book about parties. So I am! I’ve been spending hours and hours each week working on my book and now working on a book proposal to send to an agent. This week I have been feeling very despondent about it ever getting published because I’m not famous. Most of these kinds of books (non-fiction, how-to books) are written by famous people. But now I’m so far into it I can’t just quit and forget about the pages and pages of stories I have written! So I’ll look for an agent. If you have any leads, please let me know. I’m not too proud to resort to nepotism.
Long Beach is on top of the game regarding covid-19 vaccines! Everyone I know over 50 has gotten their vaccine and the rest of us (ahem) young people will be eligible next week. I sat with Jeff in our car for over 2 hours waiting for his shot on Friday, the first day they lowered the age requirement. I’m looking forward to both of us going back to work, and I’m dreading both of us going back to work.
In some ways I feel like a prisoner being released back into society -- back into a life I used to know. I’m afraid to fall back into the same routine we had before and I’m also used to a very empty calendar. We’ve been doing nothing for so long it feels like we’ve been doing nothing forever. We have our shelter at home routine wherein I do yoga and write, play tennis and cook a leisurely dinner. If you throw work and sporting events, social events, and getting dressed -- all things I’m supposedly looking forward to -- back into the mix, I don’t see how I can keep doing these leisurely things that are actually very pleasant. Wearing stretchy pants and not doing anything at all to my hair, talking on the phone in the middle of a weekday, writing a book about parties, and watching every Marvel movie ever released with my kids. These are pleasantries I fear I will miss.
You see? I’m like a captive who is scared to be released. I used to love the world and the activities we did. But now they seem like they will cramp my style.
Believe me, I’m just as confused as you are about all of this.
Zane has had a few high school tennis matches against other schools. Thank goodness tennis is an outdoor sport. I love going to his matches and watching him and his dorky teammates. In general, the cool kids don’t play tennis and that is great for Zane. He has always been a counter-culture personality. He’s been playing Varsity Line 1 Doubles so far every match. He’s a sophomore. He’s doing well and his spirits are high. They wear masks when they play doubles, but are allowed to take them off if they get winded.
Darla got promoted at work (ACE hardware) to co-manager. She can’t be the straight-up manager because she is a minor, but if you are placing bets on Who Will Take Over the World, I’d put your money on her.
Today Jeff left on his first fishing trip since the RV adventure. He’s up near Bishop, fly-fishing the Upper Owens River with Mark, his other spouse. Before they left I was wondering if I would miss him. How long would it take before I would miss him? It seems like we would be so sick of each other by now! What I realized is I am not sick of spending time with Jeff. I’m sick of spending time with myself. So, Myself and I have decided to break up. We will just be friends. We still get along okay, but I don’t need to spend so much extended alone time with Me. I don’t need to stay up to date on every thought and every fascination. Let’s keep it fresh! Let’s see other people!
Speaking of which, I got a new pandemic lipstick. It’s called “Over It!”
I miss Jeff already because he makes me laugh. The other day he was practicing in his office. Marvin follows him everywhere, so of course Marvin was lying down beside him. Jeff had done his flute warm up. Then he moved on to the clarinet. But as soon as the notes came out, Marvin started whining along. Everyone within earshot chuckled because, let’s face it, we all feel the same way about clarinet practice. Jeff says, “You know, Marvin, no one is making you stay here. You can leave at any time.”
One morning last week Jeff knocked on Darla’s bedroom door at 930am, then opened it to say good morning. Darla yelled at him very lovingly, “DO YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT?”
Teenagers! What a buncha joke-sters.
Send me some love and tell me your back-to-real-life stories.
love, Nonni
Hi Nonnahs! We got vaccinated and went down to San Diego to Celebrate Birthdays with the FISCHER Family. His brother and and sister-in-law turned 91 and various kids turned 60ish. Anyhow a big fun family fest and a sense of relief. Two weeks later, 22 March, my sister-in-law, Mary Fischer passed away. Not Covid. But what a life she lived and what a legacy she left. At her memorial the love she sowed in each of us resonated throughout the day. Ive been thinking of her all week and am inspired by her ability to love unconditionally. And during this season of Easter, isn't that appropriate!
I’m awkwardly not been able to get back to normalcy despite vaccines. I want to hug you (Everyone) . But I can’t seem to find the strength or will Or space in my head.
Weird.
Physical contact is the hardest for me.
Btw. Are the kids getting vaccines?
Love you and love your stories. Will ask my friend B about publishers.