Writing outside in this amazing fall weather today, I can see a little teeny hummingbird sitting on the skinny frond of a plant. She's so small (and I really need glasses) that it took about thirty seconds for me to realize the rarity I was seeing: a hummingbird at rest.
Yesterday I downloaded a podcast episode entitled "Make Rest Your Revolution, with Tricia Herset." Perhaps my theme for November is rest. Rest.
The girls' tennis season is over and therefore my afternoons just got much, much more restful. We only practice 3 hours a week in the off-season. It feels like a vacation!
Before the season ended though, I was a first responder to two panic attacks and close eye-witness to a third, all on or beside tennis courts. Have you ever seen someone have a panic/anxiety attack? If you are interested, try hanging around teenage girls. And if you are privy to any scientific explanations as to their rise among this population, please send that information to me because, while I have become adept at handling and understanding them individually, I am curious about the epidemic itself. A few podcasts including the series "Hysterical," and some interviews with psychologists whose names I don't remember now, and a documentary series on Hulu, "Social Studies," give me some ideas. But I don't know any factual reasoning about this trend in adolescent mental health.
In my professional career, working with adults handling their anxiety and ineptitude around organizing, I've seen many tears and some serious anger in our clients. But never anything like I see in these children when they experience a panic attack, looking me in the eye, scared to death because they cannot breathe, with very little understanding (if any) of what to do about it.
My natural inclination is to be helpful in any social situation, but when one of our teammates whom I know and love broke down with me after a hard match, I was shook. This was a girl I admire very much, someone who is a leader on the team, who exudes confidence. Her fragility was so palpable for those ten minutes (that felt like thirty) I couldn't reconcile the two perceptions in my brain. How can I help these girls be kinder to themselves and develop some grit? Take away their phones? It's not as simple as we may think. But I'm hopeful for these tennis girls and for these little girls, too.
After seeing this adorable coupling of photos from my niece in Arizona, a decision to go visit them for Halloween was obvious. What a good choice it was, too! I love hanging out with my family when there's no agenda, just a fun visit with a surprise highlight: we had reasonable, thoughtful conversations together about politics. The election was days away and the topic felt unavoidable. We were all scared and hopeful, all skeptical and tentative. But we love each other and the conversations were enlightening for all. We get our news from completely different sources. In fact, we are ingesting different realities, which helps (at least it helps me) clarify why we hold seemingly stark opposing opinions.
My family has another, week-long, holiday visit to Alabama coming up where I'll see my parents, my daughter, and some other fun relatives. (Read the recap of our 2021 Thanksgiving trip to the same place.)
Everyone I know has members of their family who are on the opposite side of the political spectrum. Some of us handle the tension better than others. Hahaha! If you're going to be sitting with people who voted to sabotage our democracy, as both sides are sure the other did, how will you be balancing the discussions, the tensions, the alcohol, and the passive-aggressiveness? Should be a fun holiday, right? Might I suggest you turn off the televisions and phones? If you can collectively handle that challenge, it could be the best visit ever.
The grocery stores are stocked with holiday foods, and I'm on my third bag of Pepperidge Farm Christmas cookies. I stress-ate half a bag last night during that documentary I mentioned, "Social Studies." It was harrowing. I watched it to get a better idea of what goes on with my tennis girls when they are off the courts. After hearing these teenagers on the show try to explain the effects of constant phone exposure, I've never been so thankful to be old! They all tried to extol the benefits of social media to help them find their tribe online and to know where the parties were. But you could see, even as they said the words, it wasn't worth it.
There is one girl, out of 17, on my tennis team whose parents don't allow her to have a smartphone. GOD BLESS THOSE PARENTS. I'm hoping the trend will catch on in coming years as we realize social media is killing more people than cigarettes. (I made that up. Don't fact check it.)
Maybe your weather is also heavenly this time of year. Maybe you have treated yourself to some early, but not shamefully so, holiday treats. And maybe you will write me back with some good tidings and great joys from your life. Whatever the case, may we all be thankful for so many kindnesses and beauties. May we be the instigators of them and the noticers. May you rest well and thereby be prepared to civilly stand up for what you believe is right.
Shout out to the most loving, caring, sweetest mother in the world: MINE! on her birthday this week. Everything good and patient in me is because of you. <3
thanks for reading,
Nonni