In my adult life, I've been compared to various cinematic characters who all share a few characteristics. They all seem naive, look small, and exude positivity beyond reason. Most of them are also sassy and a little tricky.
For example, back in 2010 a fellow flight attendant told me I was like Anna Kendrick's character, Nathalie, from Up In the Air, the movie where George Clooney plays a philanderer who goes around the country firing people from their corporate jobs.
( Bonus: many close-ups of George in this one)
Two years ago one of my tennis girls said I remind her of the rabbit, Judy, in Zootopia, the movie about a land populated by animals. Judy is another hopeless optimist.
Other comparisons: Leslie Knope from Parks and Rec. Even Jeff told me he wasn’t sure about dating me (back in the year 2000) because I seemed too cute and probably vapid. (can you believe that!? AS IF!)
Perhaps my inexplicable positive demeanor is actually explainable. Hmmm… Maybe a topic for another day.
Desert Island Friends
Have you ever been asked, Who would you want to be stranded with on a desert island?
I think about it quite a lot. I think about which friends I could tolerate --or which friends’ brand of crazy I could tolerate, more like it!-- for days on end.
We were somehow on this topic of desert islands during my adult daughter's visit last month. All four of us reunited. I have always said I'd choose the three of them for my desert island buddies, which is probably a mistake because every vacation we've been on together since they were teenagers has been rife with disagreements and complaints.
"Mom, you’re too invested in who’s having fun."
(about our trip to NYC) “Oh, you mean mom’s emotional reign of terror?”
"Every time we try to go to a restaurant, it's closed."
"There's no wi-fi here!"
"I can't text my friends because we are halfway around the world."
"Do we have to listen to this playlist again?"
You get the picture.
Anyway, for some reason we were talking about being stranded and Darla laughed, "If we were on a desert island, Dad would be building a shelter and setting up a homemade radio to send signals out so someone would find us. Meanwhile, Mom would be writing positive affirmations in the sand. I love this island. We are so lucky to have each other. The right person is going to find us!
We were all cracking up. Then her brother joined in saying, "Oh yeah. She'd be fine as long as she had a mirror or a white board to write her words of encouragement on. I saw what she wrote on the whiteboard at the high school tennis courts. I know it was her! I'm a great tennis player. Losing at tennis does not affect my self-worth.
What can I say? Guilty!
So if you need cheering up or cheering on, I'm your lady. But recently there has been more to be upset about than cheer about. If you have a retirement account that has completely tanked, or if you love someone who lives in the Middle East. If you’ve been grocery shopping or come across a store that is no longer open because they can’t compete with Amazon. If you (like me) are friends with anyone who isn't a documented US citizen and didn't feel safe enough to go to their child's graduation or celebrate Father's Day on the beach by my house this past weekend, you may be sad. Or… you may be so mad you are ready to throw your computer out the window!
I Have the Answer
A lot of people are taking a break from the news. That's a wonderful idea.
Another great idea: go to an actual --IRL-- meeting of people who think like you. If you like to talk about the best hot rod cars, go hang out with people who are excited about that. Do you love reading chick lit? Join a bookclub and read a paperback together then talk about it over brownies and wine. That sounds terrific!
On Saturday I went, with almost everyone I know in my city, to hang out with like-minded people at the No Kings Day protest. I'm sure the attendees weren't actually on the exact same page. Some of us feel more strongly about some issues than others. And many disagree about a lot of things. But we all could agree that our current federal administration is acting inappropriately.
And by “acting inappropriately,” I do mean: their plan is BAT SHIT CRAZY! It’s giving “Out of touch.” It’s giving “small d*ck energy.” They activated the National Guard for federal service in Los Angeles? To deport immigrants?!
Let’s back up and I’ll explain some things about Los Angeles.
Southern California has a different relationship to immigrants than most places in America. We are all extremely enmeshed. There’s just no way to pit documented citizens against undocumented ones here because it’s impossible to distinguish most of the time! We’ve had anti-I.C.E. banners and sentiment here since 2003 when the department was created. This area was really the wrong place to focus on this big push to deport people. Girl! You can’t take my taco trucks! And my best friend’s mother? And the teachers at our local preschool?! OH, hell no!
My nephew, Nolan, completed his Marine training last month. So when I heard the U.S. Marines were being deployed against my (and his) own neighbors, it confirmed my decision to go protest. That's like hiring the Hulk to fight the other Avengers. Honey, he has better (worse) people to smash!
Mine is a proud military family for many generations. Naturally, we have all seen some government fraud and abuse. But this felt like a bigger deal with a much greater impact on people I know and interact with everyday.
The vibe at this protest over the weekend was so fun. It was the best parade ever! There were more people than usually go to our gay pride parade. And in Long Beach? That's a lot of people.
It was no big surprise though. We are a very blue city in a blue state. So of course we are going to be mad about Republicans doing stuff that affects us. My point is that it felt so wonderful to be out in the world with so, so many people, just hanging out and being nice to each other. Like a huge cookout.
Community is magic. Go find yourself one, or create a little one. It doesn't need to be many people. Just enough so you don't spend that extra hour or two each day on social media. Spend it on a group text or at a local Denny's, talking about where you’ve traveled, or which air fryer is the best instead.
More Bonus Material
In honor of the day, I dusted off my Women's March playlist from the last time I protested this president, in 2017. Please go listen to it and feel empowered, supported, and loved. There are some bad words and some weird songs on this playlist. You can skip the ones you don't enjoy. It's okay! I guarantee you'll like most of the tunes and they'll make you feel proud to be a lady, or at least proud to know a kick ass lady like me.
Happy summer break, to those who celebrate.
love, Nonni