In Case of an Aging Emergency
Party on!
A couple summers ago I was crying in my Cherrios, anticipating the departure of my baby chickens from our nest. This summer is a testament to the Circle of Life or something equally cheesy, because this year I spent the long days celebrating.
To kick off the season, we had a special family reunion in honor of my parents' 50th wedding anniversary which happened earlier in the year. Over 20 of their kids and grands and great-grands came together to eat cake and say nice things about them staying married for an unbelievably long time. Playing Round the World Ping Pong, which my mom and dad have been playing since they were in college, highlighted the week even though we did other, more involved and expensive activities. Passing around adorable children is also hard to top on the list of family reunion selling points.
My mom and I went to see Tim McGraw in concert while we were together, and he performed the sing-along favorite, "Live Like You Were Dying." While we all joined in the chorus I thought, as I had many times before, that if I got to choose what to do with my last months of living I would definitely get together with people I love so we could sing, dance, and laugh together. I'd have a lot of parties.
The family reunion was a good idea, is what I'm trying to say.
Also this summer, Darla toured the eastern seaboard visiting the homes of her college buddies, and both of our kids brought a couple college friends to our house to visit, which gave me an excuse to buy Oreos and Sour Patch Kids, chips and these little salty, soft pretzel bites. The package says to warm them up and sprinkle the finishing salt on them before dipping the bites "in your favorite gourmet mustard." Fat chance of that! Every time I bought a package they got mainlined at room temperature before I was done putting away the rest of the groceries!
Turning 50 has been a milestone I've been looking forward to since I was a flight attendant (20 years ago) when I noticed my colleagues who were over 50 were much calmer and more content with their lives and selves. It's also been something I feared a little bit, because of our culture's collective dismissal of older women. I generally prefer to be the center of attention -- if not the nexus, at least close to it!
In any case, I turned fifty. Like it or not, that's what happens as the world turns around. And I'm leaning into the positive aspect of aging as much as I can. People say, "It's better than the alternative." And I'm not a huge fan of that mindset. But, I see what they mean. Yes, it is better to give up a few treats (that you used to eat and drink all the time, no problem,) wake up sore from some mundane exercise like vacuuming, gain weight for no apparent reason, and get your body prodded and scraped by expensive doctors at regular intervals than it is to be DEAD. Yes, thank you for that reminder. It really helps.
To celebrate the start of another decade in my life, I had a bunch of little(r) parties with groups I see regularly. There was a book club meeting that I called a party even though it was a regular book club (but with cupcakes!) A bunco party including all the regular bunco friends. A tennis party, and a dinner party. Basically I pretended whatever was on my calendar for the two weeks around my birthday were events designed to celebrate me. Again I tried to manifest the Tim McGraw song's philosophy and not waste any of the weeks or days this summer. Also, every day can be your birthday if you don't mind annoying the crap out of everyone around you!
Zane and I have started coaching the JV girls' tennis team again and it's much less stressful this year, my second year as head coach. We had so many girls come out for the team that I had to tell 12 of them they didn't make it; they got cut. I prefer to tell them in person because it feels a little more humane than an email. But, some of them didn't answer my calls. High school students now don't do phone calls or use their email for much. I'm not sure what they use instead, but I'm sure it involves bad punctuation and no eye-contact.
Beyond that, I've submitted another (love story) essay to a contest where it was not accepted (aka: rejected) and I've written a couple short fiction stories just for fun. But my most favorite thing to write is this little letter to friends.
Whatever your day brings today, I hope it is good, and whoever is with you now, I hope they are kind.
Love, Nonni
Just wait til you turn 80! I have been celebrating all month. Going to an Italian place in Solvang tomorrow for lunch. We are hanging in there and will visit Frish and co. Sept/Oct. Take care.
I don’t tell you often enough- these are the best! And a very Happy Birthday. 50 is marvelous.