When I meet a new person and they ask me what I do, these days I barely even mention professional organizing. I jump right into talking about coaching girls' tennis because that's what I'm excited about. My tennis prodigy, Zane, is helping me again this year and he is doing the majority of technical instruction. I'm on the "bring the fun" aspect of practice, but I'm also the one who has to bring the discipline.
The hardest part has been cutting a couple of girls, one in particular, who really really wanted to be on the team. And then last week I had to tell someone if she keeps giving up mid-set because of little bumps in the road I'm going to replace her in our starting line-up.
That discussion went better than anticipated on her end. She took it well and didn't say much. On the other hand, I ended up rambling, tripping over myself to make sure she understood that we, her coaches, think she can do it. I was trying to convince her of her own tenacity with words, when the best way is to push them through and then say, "Looky there! You did it!"
These children aren't used to actual hardship or adversity. I wasn't at their age either, and in many ways I think that's great, to be shielded from adult struggles and allowed to just be a kid! What this generation does have to deal with is abstract, but constant vigilance and worry. I wish I'd never learned about the threat of nuclear bombs in grade school. That stressed me out! And compared to what these children see on their phones everyday, a cold war is very small potatoes.
My point is this, the girls on our tennis team are super-dee-duper stressed out about grades and college and active shooters, but most of them haven't had to push through physical pain to win a competition, which is something I want for them because it's exhilarating!
Tennis is a difficult sport to play well. It's much easier to give up and blame your shoes, or the sun in your eyes, than to figure out how to get the ball to spin into the court. It's also a very draining activity when played at a high level at which, let's be clear, these girls are not playing. But they still claim to be very tired. After playing one set (about 30 minutes) at a meet, I told our freshie sub, "Okay, now you'll play the girl Abby was just playing."
She said, "Why do I have to play another set?" as if she were completely spent.
I said, "Because you're on the tennis team."
She got a puzzled look on her face and went back out onto the court without another word, like hmmmm. I guess that's true, huh?
Oh, y'all. They are just so cute! They love buying each other treats for the matches as Secret Sisters (like Secret Santas.) They always want pop music on during practice, and sometimes they dance and sing along. They gossip about boys during water breaks, and they are perpetually hungry.
I'm doing better this year at letting them hang out together and bond with each other naturally. Last year I got a little too involved because I wanted so badly for their experience to be amazing! But the relationships will be more lasting and consequential if I stay out of them. There are no phones allowed on the courts at all and I've never heard a complaint about it. Like everyone, they need clear rules and expectations inside which they can feel free, and maybe even be creative or productive.
I talked to a younger friend at a birthday party up near Hollywood last weekend about how, career-wise, things are pretty slow for us these days. We were wondering (only a little bit) what to do and how to feel about the dip in pace, because honestly we don't really mind it. We both have money coming in and are feeling fine. But in the City of Angels we are surrounded by incredibly creative people constantly striving. It's a cut-throat town and every other cliche about show business. So we decided it's just because we live here that we have felt the societal pressure to Make it Big and Be a Star.
Then I heard Cheryl Strayed (author and advice-giver) on a podcast yesterday saying, "Don't let your dreams get in the way of your greatness." Which perfectly sums up what my friend and I said at the party. Not achieving big fame and fortune doesn't mean we aren't doing great things. In my case, it means I'm tired! I already went hard and did big things. And in his case, it means he's raising children and achieving medium-level greatness at work. Maybe he won't be famous, but he can't let it stop him from doing what he loves to do. And if he focuses on being famous instead of working, the quality of his work will suffer.
"You can't set out to write a best-selling novel; you can only write your novel." -Cheryl Strayed
Yesterday I made cookies with peanuts and chocolate chips in them, oatmeal and peanut butter. Maybe they will not win any awards, but they are indeed great.
Embrace your Great!
Sha-Nonni <3
Fun to win! 🎾
I always enjoy reading your work . I can only imagine your greatness with your tennis girls. You are an inspiration ❤️