Don’t you wish killing a mosquito served as a warning to the other mosquitoes? Maybe they give a little dying “Yikes” upon impact so their buddies know, Don’t come around here. It’s dangerous! Or maybe it’s a scent their little corpse leaves on your arm along with the drop of your blood they have sucked out. Whatever it is, can they just LEAVE ME ALONE SO I CAN WRITE OUTSIDE?
The weather is gorgeous today and I’m out on the deck. It’s cool and fall-like. I could almost pretend it’s a season here in Southern California. I could almost wear a sweater! But don’t tell the mosquitoes. They are some mutant, confused bugs who supposedly came over on a ship a few years ago. That's the urban legend anyway. This to explain why they are out and menacing in this cool weather today, and why in any temperature, they are around all day, not just at sunset like regular, American mosquitoes. Whichever foreign land they came from needs to be sending me and my neighbors a check each month because one of the reasons we put up with the high cost of living here is for the (up until recently) dearth of insects. If there are going to be icky bugs, we’ll need to re-negotiate the mortgage, guys. It’s only fair.
It’s so beautiful outside that I shirked my morning routine to join Jeff and Marvin on their morning walk all around the marina and parks by our house. We saw about ten people setting up a hundred chairs and flowers for a wedding on a big lawn of grass facing the water. It’s a great spot as long as you don’t mind being on display. About two zillion people walk and bike around that spot all day long.
As we continued walking we saw a hundred or so of those people also on their walks and Jeff knew most of them. He waved and yelled “GOOD MORNING!” to almost every person we saw.
“I see the same people every morning,” he said.
“Well, that doesn’t mean they are your friends.” I said.
“It’s still nice to say hello.”
“But do you scream at them, though?” I chuckled. I think he’s just excited. His heart rate is up and he’s with his dog. He’s a happy fellow, let’s face it, and prone to speaking more loudly than the situation calls for.
Also spotted in the park, among the trees, a woman in her late 60s ringing a little bell to call the squirrels to come eat nuts from her hand. (It was difficult for me to write that sentence without using derogatory adjectives.) She was like Snow White in the woods, wanting to tell us how cute and tame the wild rodents were. Jeff had heard her spiel before (he sees the same people everyday), so we gave her a wide berth. We considered letting Marv off his leash to chase all her critter friends away in a flurry. But that would’ve been mean. And funny as hell.
We didn’t do it.
Rounding the corner of the park we could see another, smaller park alongside which an animal control truck had pulled up. The controller in his official outfit walked over to put a stop to some dog games happening there. Seeing him changed our plans to let our dog off of his leash. He wears a vibrating collar thing and when Jeff activates it Marvin knows to stop what he’s doing and look to Jeff for instructions. Before we got that collar, Marvin ran into the street to chase a squirrel. Now we can stop him. But the dog catcher doesn’t know about this invisible trick and he’s only doing his job, out to enforce the leash laws because lots of (entitled, rich) people use this large piece of grass to let their dogs play off leash. So, we went another way to hide from the dog catcher while we played ball for a while.
Later on our adventure we saw the animal control truck again. It was stuck in the mud --the irony! The driver tried to drive across the expanse of grass to tell the owner of a border collie having the time of his life to put a leash on. Last night the grass was watered a little too much --still on a summer setting probably-- and now the truck won’t budge. Jeff said, “It’s not nice to laugh at other people’s misfortune.” But I had a hard time refraining from taking a picture to show you! It felt like a little dose of instant karma on display.
We saw a few walkers with binoculars to spot some birds.
There was a group of people on yoga mats with their feet up in the air like upturned chairs.
Of course there were the moms with little babies in strollers running all over the parks and sidewalks in a group called Stroller Strides, I think. They have been performing this ritual for many years around the neighborhood. A great way for new moms to make friends with the added bonus of staying in shape. My mom-friends and I used to meet in parks all the time with our babies. But instead of exercising, we ate Pirate’s Booty and drank wine. It worked for us. We didn’t get in shape, but we did make friends! We formed a babysitting co-op in 2005 and I got a lot of praise for it. I have a hard time accepting the credit though, because nurturing that co-op was my own self-preservation. I was just trying to keep breathing and those friends were oxygen.
The walk together was an hour and a half full of wonders and entertainment, which is why I don’t go with them everyday. Then it would get to be mundane and predictable. I might even start verbally accosting the other walkers like Jeff does…
Speaking of Jeff being loud, he played the saxophone on dancing with the stars recently. You can barely see him on this clip with Michael Buble. As always, look for a white beard to the right of Buble on stage.
Thanks for reading and have a great November friends!
love you,
Shannonni
BONUS TENNIS TEAM CONTENT
Since the girls’ JV tennis season is over (undefeated again this year!) I am no longer a harried mess with no free time. I’ve been able to get back to writing and playing my own tennis matches. (If you want to read a couple random chapters of my novel-in-progress, let me know!) The team will keep practicing for the entire school year, but not every afternoon and there are no more four-hour meets twice a week. Whew! Although, as you know, I loved the meets a lot, too, because that’s where the drama came into play!
In the final meet to determine the league champions, one of our JV girls got to play with the varsity girls! It was terrifying for her. She was ranked last in the draw, of course, and therefore had to play the #1 seed in the first round. She got rolled while most of her teammates were watching her. It was brutal! She was complaining between every point that she thought she would throw up. She was in pain from the nerves and it was hard for me to watch.
I was telling her from the sidelines (which is totally illegal in tennis) to breathe between each serve, to keep watching the ball. On a changeover she yelled, “I think I’m going to be sick.” I yelled back, “You can throw up. But you cannot quit!”
We hugged and cried after the match and it was just spectacular. I felt so honored to be the person she came to after that trial. An hour or so later she told me to be sure to come on Thursday because she’d be playing doubles and I could watch. (Like I would miss it!)
Because they are naive and sheltered, teenagers need to hear a lot of things from adults. But the catch is, the adult cannot be their parents. I have so many things to say to my own kids that they cannot hear right now because taking my advice would be developmentally inappropriate for them. Having these tennis team girls to advise, who actually give a shit what I think, is an emotional relief for me. If it weren’t for them, I’d be typing all of my pent-up advice into a crappy How-To Book. For example, I haven’t taught my son, who’s leaving home in about 9 months, how to handle dry cleaning or not to fill up an ice cube tray all the way. He may never use an ice tray because of ice makers. But, what if he does?! Have I failed him in the ice department? I’ve also never taught him many of the things I’ve learned from Brene Brown. Will he learn those on his own? I guess so because if I start talking about vulnerability with my kids, their eyes automatically roll back into their heads. But if I tell one of my tennis ladies that they “can be brave and scared at the same time” their eyes get wide, like they are filled up with love and wisdom. Ha! I have cracked the “parenting a teenager code!” I just parent the other teenagers and leave my own alone.
Fabulous bonus content 💖